Often when I see that other kids read better and more books than Vlad, speak better German or do better in math, I find it very hard not to compare him to them and think that they will be the ones he competes with for a place in college or the job market. And I wonder again if I did the right thing by choosing an elementary school with less homework, insisting on sports and staying outside, giving him as many life experiences as possible.I don’t know about you, but I have no idea what to prepare my child for, what he will do when he grows up. What will the job market look like in 10 years’ time with technology advancing so fast, what professions will there still be? When I ask him, he has no idea either. The skills that are clearly visible are sports. What do I do, what direction should I guide him in?
If you want to better understand why you react the way you do in certain situations, I invite you to the “Do you respect yourself?” workshop for parents , you can sign up here.
Because I am firmly convinced, when my thinking is quiet and I am relaxed and well, that each of us will find our passion and follow it if we have the space of trust necessary for exploration, I decided to aim to give it some necessary foundations in any relationship, be it in sports, couple or professional:So we often talk about:
- Listening – listening so that you can be listened to or vice versa, but you can’t just talk yourself and when others talk ignore them, it’s disrespectful and smug (you think you know it all and have nothing to learn). To learn this I sit and listen to him when he has something to say, we consult and choose the best way together with pros and cons.
- Observation – when you see that Frau is angry, you don’t go to her to tell on a colleague and be quiet, otherwise she’ll come out with a fuss or when I’m tired or not hungry I’m irritable and after a while I kept telling him that, now he takes my food out of the fridge and prepares it. At work it would translate into me not asking the boss for a raise when he’s having a bad day.
- Understand the other person’s perspective before you judge – this is where we often discuss why his colleagues react a certain way at school or football.
- Team spirit with the slogan “leave no one behind” – when I was at camp some boys strayed far from the group, including Vlad, and so I had to decide just me and the guide that some should go back and others should go forward. Eventually I found out that Vlad also wanted to go back, but because he didn’t fit in with the group and went ahead he missed the opportunity to have his say.
- Fear prevents us from trying and progressing – in football, if in the match they don’t try the things they learnt in training for fear of the consequences, they lose the match.
- Let them find motivation in the less enjoyable things they “have” to do: here we are talking about school lessons or chores around the house, for example setting the table together, I do the dishes, he does the dishes. If we do things together, we finish faster and have more time to spend together or with an activity we enjoy more.
What do you prepare them for, what conversations do you have with them and are they aligned with your actions, how you interact with others and live your life?
Find out 5 things to do for the start of the school year and sign your child up for the “How to speak in front of the class” workshop on 16.09 here.
I invite you to explore the September workshop programme and sign up, places are limited. We will be reaching out to adults and children with games and discussions designed to open their minds to new possibilities for seeing and experiencing life. If you can’t find the right workshop, follow us on Facebook and Instagram and subscribe to our newsletter for inspiration from the stories shared on the blog.