Today we received a lesson about the children’s need for affection and time with them, a need they have expressed very clearly and repeatedly.
“Chiț, do you get nervous talking to children? Yes, and I don’t like talking to children I don’t know. Oana wakes me up in the morning to come here and say how I feel. I hate waking up in the morning. I’m very upset!!!”
That’s how our workshop began, with Chiț complaining and the children encouraging and pitying him. In fact, they loved him so much, they even gave him a biscuit. Only to Chiț, Chițăilă didn’t want to eat.
Some children wanted to draw, others didn’t. Some were happy to tell their stories in front of the others and present their drawings, others preferred to tell me.
What else did I hear today? “My schedule is very busy, after this workshop I go to another one where I stay until evening. I have a younger sister and my mother is busy with her today”.
Children need to be listened to and have their feelings acknowledged and validated. That’s all. No rational explanations. just a little time to give them in which they say their offense and maybe cry.
“I don’t want any presents, I want to spend more time with Daddy, he’s very busy.”
The improvisational games showed me that children are present, aware, spontaneous and engaged. They participated with great ease and joy. None of them ran to their parents, even though I made them out and parents kept showing up along the way. Thanks on this note to the parents for not interrupting us but enjoying from the sidelines as observers of the children’s ideas and laughter. I rarely saw this, usually the kids immediately run to the parents and vice versa.
The children are generally well and healthy. There is no need to improve anything about them. Just give them uninterrupted attention for a few minutes a day, 10 for example. In which we don’t give them advice, don’t criticize them, just listen to them and validate their feelings. Are you sad that your friend didn’t come to school? Do you wish Daddy would spend more time with you? Spend more time with you before your sister was born? Fearlessly, with courage that out of connection will follow healing.
I’ll leave you with the pictures and invite you to check out the October workshop schedule and sign your kids up to play:
“I have the courage to speak in front of the class” for 7-9 year olds from 6.10 sign up here.
“I try, I fail and I move on” for 9-12 year olds from 7.10 sign up here.
“Body Science” for 7-9 year olds from 13.10, registration here.