Help your child have a higher self-esteem in 11 steps

A child’s success in play, school or sport is directly related to how a child thinks about himself, what he thinks he can and can’t do, what he has the courage to try and what he doesn’t. This is called self-esteem. Children will do better in all aspects of their lives if they are given the space to develop confidence in their own strengths.What can you, the parent, do to help your child develop self-esteem?


Treat your child as you would like to be treated. If you treat him respectfully, without raising your voice, and if it happens (as is only human) you apologise, if you consult with him before making a decision or if you are forced to make a decision you communicate openly why, if you listen patiently when he wants to tell you something, he will be open to listen to you and do what you ask.

If you humiliate him and make him feel unimportant by ignoring him on a regular basis, he will eventually come to fear you and ignore you in turn.


We often fall into the trap of asking what our colleague did at work, or how many goals they scored, we care if the friend also talks back nasty to their dad or whatever. Comparing is very damaging to self-esteem and, what’s more, sets the stage for an unhappy life. The child, instead of wanting to be better than the day before, will look outwards and will often be dissatisfied with his performance.


As indeed he is. The impression that they are less important because they are young and have lived less is totally wrong. They have the same rights as “human beings” as we adults do.Take an interest in all aspects of their life, not just what interests you as a parent (school results, whether they ate vegetables or were good, what does that mean?). Find out who his friends are and what he likes about them. Why he’s sad today and doesn’t feel like school or watch him play Fortnite (I know, it’s hard!!!).


When your child has performed differently than you or he expected, it’s time to be there for him without criticizing. You can ask, find out how he felt, what happened, why he achieved less than he thought he would,

if the child feels you are disappointed in him, next time he will be afraid to try again, because he wants it badly, not to let you down and so his confidence drops.


When you want to push your child to try something new, you need to tell him that he can make mistakes, that it’s okay if he doesn’t get it right the first time. A challenge is a positive way of interacting with him, it increases his self-esteem. A threat is negative and anticipates punishment.

Threats lower self-esteem and establish a relationship with children that is unfavourable to success



Be open, direct and honest in communicating with your child. Make it clear how you feel and what is going on. If you are unhappy with his behaviour, say so directly. Don’t wait for him to read your mind. Communicate directly with him, without being ironic or giving him the run-around (which he often won’t understand and you will be disappointed). That way he will respond in the same way, you are a role model for him.


The basis of effective communication is listening. For a child to trust him you must listen to him when he speaks. Listening to him will show him that you care about him and will provide a role model for the child, who will listen to you. The next time he speaks, listen to him without already thinking about what you are responding to or other distracting thoughts.


There’s nothing that makes you feel better than knowing that someone you admire and respect understands you. Put yourself in the child’s shoes when they come to you with a problem. See the world from their perspective, not yours. If you show him that you understand what it’s like to be in his shoes, he’ll feel that you care and appreciate him and so he’ll be ready to face the world again the next daybecause he knows he has a safe space at home.


Tell him what you expect of him, not what he shouldn’t do. Teach him to want things, to set positive intentions, to see the beautiful things in experiences and people.


Teach him that failures and mistakes are a necessary part of the learning process and not a reason for shame or guilt. Cultivate this attitude and you’ll encourage him to take risks and try new things.

If you “jump on” your child when he makes a mistake, you are attacking his self-esteem and cultivating a fear of making mistakes, which will result in a fear of trying again



When a child makes a mistake, don’t humiliate them in front of friends or in public. Make it a point to observe and discuss when it’s just the two of you. Shaming in public is one of the factors that most affects confidence in your own strengths.

Obviously you will not succeed in following the above ideas every


It’s important to know them and be aware of them. The fact that you try is already more than most parents do and it is worth congratulating yourself for it, to be proud of yourself. ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

For customized programs to increase self-confidence and develop children’s social-emotional skills, please contact us at or 0729039511, we welcome your requests and suggestions. We organize camps and offer programs for afterschool and kindergarten or school otherwise week on emotional intelligence, self-esteem, online opportunities and sex education.

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