The baby won’t listen to me

Last week I had a friend over who is very dear to me. He has a boy about Vlad’s age. I really appreciate it about him that every time he calls me with an open heart, we see each other, he drops his boy off at our place or even stays with both of us, without any of these modern qualms like “it’s a bother”.As we chatted about what he’s been up to and how he’s doing, he told me that he doesn’t have a job at all anymore (apart from his business) and that he spends more time with his boy. They do sports together play different games

-Matei is so happy we are together, unbelievable how happy he is and his eyes are shining. And you know what else I noticed? That since I’ve been spending time with him, he’s started listening to me more and doing things on his own initiative to help me.

I was so happy when I heard what he said. In parenting parlance that translates toconnecting with the child. If there is connection, the child is eager to cooperate, wants to please the adult.

If you only give orders, put him to homework, correct him by skipping the part where you connect either by playing, reading a book or doing some other activity together coordinated by the child, the child will be reluctant to cooperate.

The same goes for you. Have you noticed that you get annoyed when your child has a request and you’ve just walked in the door and haven’t even gotten your shoes off? I sure do.And every time I tell Vlad:-Stop. I’m hungry and I’m mega tired (if that). I undress, eat and then we talk. And he now (he’s 11) even asks me what I want him to make me. And we sit down at the table, I settle down and then we talk.

To have a balanced, warm relationship with your child that brings you peace and joy you need to give in order to receive. Spend time (even a little) with your child every day, (or when you can allocate it, provided it is a routine, repeated with predictable rhythm), where he guides and decides what you do and you will notice that he will also meet your needs. The same works with teachers or educators. You are connected with the child, he loves you, he wants to do what you ask him to do, you don’t need to coerce him anymore. The Courses For Life Association team is back at work. We are starting to prepare the autumn programme with the workshop “How to speak in front of the class” in Bucharest, Brasov and maybe Cluj, a new programme for after-schools in Romanian, German or English, we are writing articles again. Follow us, share what you like and tell us in the comments how it helped you. See you soon!

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