For three years I have been giving workshops for children and interacting with their parents, and for even longer, since I have Vlad, I have been following such discussions. What talks? Two adults discussing the child next to them, about the child as if he is not there. How so?I tell about the most recent ones:the parent with the child next to him:-Ana broke grandma’s glasses yesterday and I got very angry with her. I didn’t yell at her or beat her up, I just put her in the house and made her sit on the couch. My mother tells me, with three-year-old Ana beside her.I look at the little one and ask her, trying to show her that I can see she’s there and that she’s a person to be taken care of.-That’s what happened Ana, did the glasses break?
The mother continues without paying any attention to me or waiting for an answer from the child:– She sat on the sofa while she was punished, probably because her father was in the room, otherwise I don’t think she would have sat.I look at Ana again and wonder how she is feeling.The same story happens when parents pick up children from kindergarten. The child sits next to them, glued, because he just missed his parent and the parent seeks information from the teacher:-Did Tudor sleep at lunch?I look at Tudor and ask:-What did you eat today?The parent looks at me as Tudor starts excitedly pouring over the whole menu:-I had soup with bread and meat for main course. The educator completes that only a little soup.
Children are also people whose presence must be acknowledged and taken into account. They deserve the same respect, recognition and attention as an adult. Even the law supports this.
Like if they came to work, your partner for example, and talked to the boss in front of you, about you. I think the reaction is:-Hello, I’m here, can’t you see me? Ask me.
What is there to do?
If you want to talk, you ask the child to go play in another room or outside. But don’t forget to ask him first, because you want to create a relationship with him based on mutual trust and keep the communication open. If you don’t do it now, when he’s older you’ll find it much harder to succeed.
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