With one hour spent with your child in two days, you can build his self-esteem and help him develop life skills such as: collaboration, problem solving, critical thinking, independence.On Friday Vlad calls me and says he would like to have a friend of his come to our house. I think about what we have to do, whether or not we can welcome him because Vlad often takes me by surprise with his requests.Idecide it’s okay, give them the go-ahead and we’re off to see each other at home.With Vlad I have a rule that when friends of his come to stay with us, he actively participates in the organization with food, sleeping and other things, it doesn’t seem fair for me to do everything for two when he wants his friend to visit.The first thing to learn is that
- When we want something we strive to get what we want. Nothing comes ready-made.
By the time I got home the boys were busy unpacking the microwave that was still hidden away since we moved in and getting ready to eat the mashed up schnitzel I left in the fridge. Vlad’s friend doesn’t eat pizza, so they got to work and managed to heat up the food to make it as easy as possible for them.The second thing they learned is:
- He has the ability to find practical solutions to what he wants and to come to an agreement with a friend. Vlad wanted pizza, Matthew doesn’t like it. They both made an effort to warm up the food they had. Does it seem a little? I’m telling you, it’s a big deal!
The day after we went to soccer practice the boys let me know that they were hungry as a wolf. I manage to convince them to just eat a sandwich and go grocery shopping so we can make fries with grilled chicken and garlic mujito. Done and done, they’re back with the groceries after a while. They had a hard time finding some items but they managed. Vlad had an attempt to play on his phone but I stopped him and asked him to help me prepare the food.
He comes to the kitchen a bit bored and a bit upset, because obviously being on the phone is easier and more interesting. I ask him what he wants to do.Hesees the meat and suddenly gets excited-can I take the hammer and pound the meat?-Yes. And I start laughing. You’re in charge of the grill, right?Matthew comes in and asks me what he can help with and starts to work on peeling the garlic.Thethree of us in the small kitchen stumble over each other and laugh a lot.Vlad wants to take a break and I’m left with just Matei. When you want to do activities with children it’s helpful to consider their needs, not to feel obligated to do them. After he disappears for five minutes, I shout at him:
-Do you still do meat? -No. Matei intervenes.-I’ll do it, I like it hot. -Great, Matei, thanks.-Vlad, can you put on some music and glasses, so we can have a drink?We’ve finished and we all sit down to eat. Food’s even better when you make an effort to prepare it, right? And it’s fun, too.
At the table we started talking about how much it cost to buy the ingredients for lunch at the store and how much it would have cost the three of us to eat at the restaurant. I used the discussion as an opportunity to do some entrepreneurial education and pointed out to them that in addition to the financial costs they had to add the time we spent preparing and the cost of other resources, gas, oil, pots, etc. What I learned:
- Social equity. Everyone in the family participates in preparing the meal. Or has duties so they enjoy contributing. The important thing is to contribute.
- Entrepreneurial and financial education. By buying products, sticking to a budget and comparing prices.
- We all sat at the table together, learned about Matthew not liking mujdee and discussed our habits. Lunch is a time for socializing. No technology.
How much time did we actually spend with the kids? About an hour. In the evenings I did my chores around the house, without much interaction. The next day the time allotted was 45 minutes of meal preparation. What did the kids learn above. Do you have a clear message in mind when you interact with them? What do you convey to them?
November is all about self-confidence with the Self-esteem workshop – click here to register – from the 16th.11 and Emotional Intelligence – click here to register – from 30.11.Have you decided? Please note, places are limited. The price of a workshop is 100 lei per child. If you register two or more children at the same time a 10% discount applies, the same applies if you register for both workshops (discounts do not cumulate). If you have any questions please reply to my email and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible with the information or call me at 0729039511.